her facebook's as public as her vagina
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize