True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
