For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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