I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
