dude i'm inner monologue high
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
