considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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