He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
