You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
jump out the window naked night went bad
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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