I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
