it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
