I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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