**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
