OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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