Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
