i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
