Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize