Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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