At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
This house was built for laser tag.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
