You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
What a dumb baby whore.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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