I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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