if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
