I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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