So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
