So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
