My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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