My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Mom said you looked used
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
