Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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