That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize