Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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