i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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