NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
