I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
