At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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