I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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