Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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