i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
