I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
