Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
The adults are the big ones right?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
