Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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