Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
