Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Ketchup is God's man juice
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
