So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
