Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
