Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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