Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
