i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
