I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
