He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
