whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
