I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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