So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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