By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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