Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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