somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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