I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
