it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
