so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
