Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
4 words: hood of his car
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
