I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
