Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
so let's talk penis.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
