Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
