so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
