i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
