i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I got inside last night via doggy door
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
