another moral hangover. fuck.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
